My Princess

Hi there!
Since you've gotten so many reviews already, I'll just give a general impression and tell you I loved it. It was cute, and sad, and wonderful, and cliche without being cliche. What I mean is yeah it was something we have probably all heard before, but you presented it in a way we don't mind reading it again.

The rhyming was great, and it didn't seem like you stretched it at all, really my only complaint is the last stanza. Alone, I love it, and I can relate to it so much. I'm betting it is probably the one that means the most to you as well. My problem with it is that it just seems awkward compared to the others. I think the stanza preceding it is a little more of an ending stanza, and I don't know, it is like it ends then begins again. So yeah, hope I helped and didn't make you mad. I loved it!

You know what I say, "short reviews are the best," so I'm going to make this some-what short. You have an amazing idea here, and you crafted it into a lovely piece of literature. Your spelling and grammar are spot-on, and your imagery really makes me see what's happening. The words came smoothly and effectively, and I didn't trip over them. This was a great poem.

Tyler.

I like this poem a lot how descriptive it is and the syntax of it all

Wow, I really like this. I could actually feel the emotions the narrator of the poem (you?) must have been feeling. It was amazing, keep it up!
ShadowPrincess16

I really loved this poem, especially since I feel the same way, today in this world, people are so hyprocritical, but really, it was an awesome poem. This will definetly be one I read again!

Thank you for sharing this, it's very good. It's very well put together and every stanza works like clock work to one another.
I only have a tiny bit of criticism for the third and fourth stanza:

Your eyes are bright, your face as fair,
As stars about the moon.

Ever tighter winds your braid
Around my aching heart,
And deep inside I'm so afraid
That soon I'll fall apart.

Wow. This is a beautiful poem. It flows perfectly and the structure is great! I loved how you've put rhyme in there as well.
It has a really nice gentle, yet mystical feel to it too.
I can't think of anything bad about this, it's a beautiful poem (as mentioned in the other critiques).
Keep up the good work!

This is beautiful. I really like the way you’ve rhymed certain words together. You have a real talent for this.
I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a happy or sad poem, but you’ve captured everything beautifully to the point of painting a virtual picture of the person who’s feeling this way about a particular person.
You’ve done a really good job of this. Keep up the good work.

Beautiful beyond compare,
A scarlet rose in bloom,
Your eyes are bright, your face as fair,
As stars about the moon. favorite part.

You hold a secret power;
Deep within you burns a light:
A princess in a tower,
Softly singing in the night.

Ever tighter winds your braid
Around my aching heart,
And deep inside I'm so afraid
That soon I'll fall apart.

You ignite a secret fire
In the silence of my soul,
And awaken a desire
That now defies control.

This alone I know is true:
For you I draw each breath;
And if I could give my life for you,
Then I would welcome death.

And yet I am forbidden
To love another girl,
So somehow I keep this hidden--
From you and from the world.

You are a true author. I love your work. Maybe using some good meaningful words will improve your skills.

This is a great poem! It has a nice rhyme and you use very good descriptive words.
There is nothing wrong with it!!
Thank you so much for this poem,
sionarama

This is a great poem! It has a nice rhyme and you use very good descriptive words.
There is nothing wrong with it!!
Thank you so much for this poem,
sionarama

Hi Warrior Princess,

This poem was absolutely beautiful. The imagery was great and the wording soft and gentle - the poem "worded" to absolute perfection. I loved the feeling and emotion behind your words and the structure of it was great. Need I say more?

Beautfiful, stunning and WOW. Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf

I love it! It was a beautiful poem. Just a couple points to hit on...

Beautiful beyond compare,
A scarlet rose in bloom,
Your eyes are bright, your face as fair,
As stars about the moon. <-- About the moon? I think you might want to change it to "around" the moon

You hold a secret power;
Deep within you burns a light:
A princess in a tower,
Softly singing in the night. <-- I loved this entire stanza It just flowed wonderfully.

Ever tighter winds your braid <-- I'm a little confused on this line, it doesn't make much sense to me. Maybe I'm reading it wrong is all.
Around my aching heart,
And deep inside I'm so afraid
That soon I'll fall apart.

You ignite a secret fire
In the silence of my soul,
And awaken a desire
That now defies control.

This alone I know is true:
For you I draw each breath;
And if I could give my life for you,
Then I would welcome death.

And yet I am forbidden
To love another girl,
So somehow I keep this hidden--
From you and from the world. <-- I feel the two "froms" are too much in this last line. Perhaps change it to "from you and all the world"

Great poem! There are a couple of things that could be nitpicked a bit, but that would be boring to type out because they're almost irrelevant to the overall message of the piece so I'm just not going to type it out. I'm sure you won't mind xD Anyway, this is awesome. I'm not sure if you meant to do this or not, but I liked your references to other princess stories in here (I got a rapunzel sort of feel in certain parts of this, for example)... it really adds to the overall effect of the piece. ....and it makes me realize how behind I am on my princess stories, haha (gaah, feel so old). Definitely a magical feel to this one. Keep it up!

Describe this poem in one word: Wow!!
All my comments have already been said but I just wanted to reiterate how good it is! I hope you continue writing poetry as you obviously have a knack for it. The grammer and flow are really good and it was enjoyable to read. Which, after all, is the point in reading most of the time.

This is fantastic! Vocabulary is amazing, flow is great, and the grammar is wonderful.
Also, the rhyming was very well done. Overall I loved this! Keep writing!!!

Wow, this was an amazing poem and I love things like this. About mystical, mysterious people...
I loved reading this. I loved the flow. The title is real' nice and I can't see anything right now that needs criticising or whatever.
*follows*
Xxx

Hey, Pervy here! I absolutely love this poem! It's like a puzzle with all the pieces perfectly in order. You're really talented, it can't be denied. You made everything rhyme (which isn't the main point in poems, really) and yet kept it within the borders of "not sounding stupid or confusing". Great job! Loved this!

Do keep on writing, this was excellent.

Sincerely,
The Perverted Iguana~